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Want child abuse to stop? Do something

In the grocery store parking lot, you see an angry mother violently shake her school-aged child, and then smack his face.

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In the grocery store parking lot, you see an angry mother violently shake her school-aged child, and then smack his face.

You often hear the man next door shouting insults, obscenities and threats at his adolescent kids, yet when you see them outside together, they seem like a nice, normal family.

Your 11-year-old daughter shyly tells you that her friend has a secret - her stepfather makes her touch him when they're alone.

What do you do? What should you do? If you're like many people, you probably want to do something to stop child abuse - and all three of the above scenarios indicate that physical, emotional or sexual abuse might be happening to a child.

Unfortunately, many people do nothing.

"People often turn a blind eye to child abuse, not because they don't care, but because they're uncomfortable with it, or unsure what to do,"
says Judi Fairholm, national manager for RespectED, the Canadian Red Cross program that battles abuse, neglect and harassment with educational programs for children, youth and adults.

Unfortunately, ignoring the warning signs can have devastating consequences, leaving children to suffer and potentially leading to a cycle of abuse and violence that can carry on for generations.

"The truth is, as adults, we have more than a moral obligation to protect children. If we suspect a child or youth is in danger, we have a legal responsibility to do something,"
Fairholm says.

So what should you do in the above scenarios? Simple: report what you witnessed or heard either to the local police or to child welfare authorities. You will be asked to tell them everything you know.

If the young person is in immediate danger, of course, call 9-1-1.

There are times when intervention may be appropriate, especially if you know the people involved, and can do so without endangering your safety or causing further harm to the victim. "One possibility is to simply try to defuse the situation by saying you understand the person is stressed, and offering to help so they can take a break and calm down."

Fairholm adds, however, that if you believe there is ongoing physical, sexual or emotional abuse happening, you must report what you know.

People are reluctant because they can't prove abuse is happening, Fairholm says. "It's not the witness's job to prove anything. There are people trained to conduct an investigation and determine if there is abuse happening, and how to handle it."

And contrary to some people's fears, authorities don't swoop in and pull apart a family based on someone's suspicions.

""˜I don't want to get involved' and "˜It's a private matter' are no longer acceptable excuses for ignoring a child or youth in need,"
Fairholm asserts. "If abuse is happening in a family, the family needs help. They won't get it, and the suffering will continue -potentially for generations - if everyone pretends it's not there."

Not sure what abuse is, or how it looks? Still no reason for inaction. You just have to report what you know, and let the authorities decide about the law.

But there's no excuse for ignorance either, says Fairholm, when there are so many places where you can learn more, including the RespectED pages of www.redcross.ca.

"Yes, it's easier to put your head in the sand,"
Fairholm notes. "But it's not the right answer. Do something - it's the only way to stop the tragedy of child abuse."

Courtesy of ARA Content

EDITOR'S NOTE: For more information, contact Leslie Vryenhoek, Public Affairs, RespectED, Canadian Red Cross at(204) 982-7359 or leslie.vryenhoek@redcross.ca.

SIDEBAR

If a child/youth tells you they're being abused . . .

* Believe and comfort the child.

* Assure the child that they were right to tell.

* Don't ask questions or try to get more details.

* Don't promise to keep it a secret - instead, explain that you have to tell someone who can help.

* Document what you were told and report it right away to police or child welfare authorities.

* Take care of your own emotional needs - learning about abuse can be very difficult.
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