"friends with benefits"
"booty call"

These terms have become all too familiar in today's dating world. Are they words">
 · Media Search  > >

Famous people say the darndest things!

Songs Music Lyrics

Lists of US Patents

Article Search
Most Recent Articles
 

Direct Deposit Brings Reliability, Safety and Convenience to Ban...  

Lifestyle Changes, Medication Help Control Heart Failure  

Take Control of Diabetes by Avoiding these 5 Common Mistakes  

More Stress, Less Rest in America Better Sleep Council Survey S...  

Brain Research Shows That Diet and Exercise are Keys to Living W...  

Nourish Your Body the Healthy 'Whey'  

Spyware  

Foreign Adoptions  

Home Movies Made Easy: Digital Camcorders for the Holidays By P...  

Clocks That Keep Pace with Father Time (and Mother Nature, too) ...  

Conozca sus derechos como contribuyente  

Summer Recipes Every Mom Can Appreciate  

Choosing the Right Edging Equipment Can Save Time on Lawn Care  

Tax Materials and Assistance Available in Spanish  

If Your Eyesight is Failing You, Know Your Options March is Sav...  

Are You Ready for Some Fantasy Football?  

Keeping Tabs on What You're Taking  

How to Enjoy Your Own Party: Tips for Effortless Entertaining  

Creative Costume Ideas for Kids By Lillian Vernon  

What You Need to Know about Age-related Macular Degeneration  

Give the Gift of Hope this Holiday Season Family Sponsorship Re...  

Pamper Yourself for Better Health  

How to Choose the Right Music for Your Teen  

You Are What You Eat Cruelty-free Meat Offers Taste, Health Ben...  

It's Never Too Early to Start the College Search, But It Can Be ...  

Financial Planning is Like an Oil Change Use the same idea of re...  

Home is Where the Health Is  

Make It Easier to Keep Your Weight Loss Resolution This Year Boo...  

Online Tutoring: The Newest Way to Help Children Make the Grade...  

Five Simple Ways To De-Stress Your Daily Routine  

Grocery Store China Still Popular  

Aumente el dinero que sus empleados llevan a sus hogares con el ...  

Motorcycles Make Hitting the Highway More Fun  

10 Tips for Positive Parenting by Shay Bilchik  

African Americans Hit Hard by Disease that Strikes without Warni...  

Are You Eligible for the Earned Income Tax Credit (EITC)?  

Buying While Selling? Tips on Juggling Two Escrows  

Celebrating Earth Day Every Day  

Chilled White Wines Put the Cool Back into Summer Beverages  

Decorating: Do-it-Yourself or Use an Interior Designer? Talking...  

Dermatologists Offer Advice to Parents on How to Talk to Teens A...  

Does Your Child's School Need a Technology Update?  

Dre@m Commerce: A New Concept for Consumers Buying Wallpaper  

Get the Open Enrollment Edge: Your Annual Opportunity to Change ...  

Getting the Most from your Deck  

Getting the Most Out of Your Doctor's Visit  

High School Students Get Ready to Launch Their Culinary Careers ...  

Hot Holiday Gift Ideas for the DIYer  

How Clean and Healthy are our Children's Schools?  

How to Avoid Identity Theft  

How to Score an A+ with College Admissions Officers Be a Triple...  

Is Procrastination Keeping You from Getting Ahead?  

Keep Hands Safe Around Fireworks  

Keep the Beauty of Valentine's Day All Year Long  

Majority of Canadians Support Slower Speeds  

Moving? Remember to Update Your Address Information  

New Wireless Internet Appliance Lets You Surf in Your PJs  

Pack Your Kids a Healthy School Lunch  

Pills Are Not the Answer: Diet, Exercise Can Often Control High ...  

Safe Summer Celebrations! Enjoying Warm Weather Activities  

Shopping Around for Car Loans Can Boost Buying Power in '05  

Slimming Down for Spring? Don't Forget the Fat!  

Taking Control: Reducing America's Sleep Deficit  

'Tech the Halls' with Fun, Time-Saving Technology this Holiday S...  

Three Simple Steps to a Creative Father's Day Gift  

Triathlon  

Want to Loosen Uncle Sam's Grip on Your Wallet? Talking About M...  

What Does Mom Really Want This Mother's Day?Kitchen Remodel or M...  

What is Tiny in Size, Red in Color and Packs a Healthy Punch Aga...  

Teaching Kids to Understand the True Meaning of the Season: Givi...  

Diets Decorated with Color May Help Prevent Disease Today's Hea...  

How-to Guides Help Make the Most of High Tech  

Georgia Offers Thrills and Spills Peach State Features Top Adven...  

6 Ways to Boost Kids' Creativity  

Holiday Keepsakes Make Wishes Come True for Kids with Life-Threa...  

Combating West Nile Virus is a Concern for Government and Homeow...  

Trends: The Colors of Life Earthen white and sandbar expand Koh...  

A Beginner’s Guide to Planning Your Financial Future  

Holidays Leave Moms in Holi-daze Tips for Moms to Survive and Th...  

Have a Home Theater Experience on the Road  

Consideración tributaria en caso de pérdidas debidas a desastr...  

A Great Way to Give Something Back to Nature: Feed the Birds  

The Power of One: You Can Make a Difference  

When Household Products Turn Deadly  

Electric Radiant Floor Warming: the Affordable Luxury  

Healthy Body, Healthy Mind  

Cinco preguntas que debe hacer al comprar una computadora y un s...  

Get Into the Spirit of the Holidays: Volunteer!  

Fix Minor Cracks Before They Require Costly Repairs  

Osteoporosis Affects One Out of Every Two Women  

Helping Kids Earn Extra MoneyIHateFinancialPlanning.com offers p...  

The ABC's of Financing a College Education  

Give the Gift that Keeps on Giving  

Private College Sticker Shock The real cost of private, higher ...  

Georgia Prepares for G8 Summit  

Combine Wedding Planning with Financial Planning  

Pague sus impuestos al Departamento del Tesoro de los Estados Un...  

Tips for Driving A Great Deal on Your Next Auto Loan  

Leading to Success  

Hollywood Star Returns a Favor for the Boys & Girls Clubs of Ame...  

Container Water Gardens Add Tranquility to Outdoor Spaces  

Joe Millionaire Should Keep His Day Job  

Five Fun Tips for Fall Fitness  

Boost Your Mother's Day Gift-Giving I.Q.  

Boredom Busters for Kids  

Raising a Generation of Savers, Not Spenders By Euna Kwon of Me...  

Kitchen Makes Case as Most Popular Room  

Sharing the Holidays When a Loved One is in a Nursing Home  

How to Make Cleaning Up Life’s Little Messes Easier  

Hearing Aids From A to Z  

Cookie Traditions in the Making  

Be a Smart Shopper this Holiday Season  

Retirement Fund vs. College Fund  

Glide into Tax Season with Solid Financial Planning  

Create Wedding Invitations That Only Look Expensive How to Get...  

Don't Cut Out Your Favorite Foods  

Tying Things Together is the Latest Trend in Home Decorating  

Federal Workers Recognized for Service to Their Country  

Tips for Winterizing Your Car  

Living a Healthy Way of Life is No Mystery  

Grammar and Spell Checks Can Never Replace the Need for Quality ...  

Making the Holidays Brighter for Loved Ones in a Nursing Home "”...  

Father's Day Gift Ideas for Clueless Shoppers  

After School Energy Boosters  

The Keys to Living a Healthy Way of Life  

Perk Up Your Old Kitchen with a New Look  

New Campaign Aims to Increase Bicycle Safety, Reduce Traumatic H...  

Kids With Cancer Gain Powerful Allies  

Gifts That Keep Giving Give Your Friends and Family A Head Star...  

New Year's Resolutions are Out  

Care For Feet Every Step of the Way Foot Care Tips Help Prevent...  

Don't Let Stains Ruin Your Wardrobe How to keep your clothes loo...  

Reality Television Meets Romance  

Gift Ideas for People Who are Passionate about Their Cars  

The Sudden Surge for Clean Drinking Water  

Skip the Sodium, Not the Flavor  

Keep Your Pets Comfortable and Your Car Clean  

Dirty Diapers, Dirty Homes: Cleaning Tips for New Dads  

Taking the Risk Out of Buying a Used Car  

Kids Dish about the True Meaning of Christmas, Moms' Roles in Pu...  

No Fuss Holiday Entertaining Tips  

Raise Your Employees' Take-Home Pay with Advance EITC  

Do More With Your Pictures Sharing photos with family and frien...  

Brrracing For Winter: Is Your Home Energy Efficient? Talking Ab...  

Study Points the Way to Successful Aging  

Keep to Dieting Commitments with Cranberries  

Power Outages: How Can Homeowners Prepare?  

Invite Your Guests to “Dip” Right in This Holiday Season  

Invasion of the Garden Snatchers  

Wedding Gifts that Stand Out from the Pack A perfect marriage o...  

How to Protect Your Family from Foodborne Illness  

Making Holiday Magic  

Do you Splash 'n Dash? (CA.ARA)  

Don't Let A Nasty Infection Spoil Your Travels  

It's Winter! Here Are Some Tips to Make Your Home Cozy and Warm...  

Tips for Choosing the Health and Fitness Center that's Right for...  

Make the Holidays Red Hot With a New Wine Blend  

Diagnosis of Prostate Cancer Remains High Among American Men Men...  

Wedding Sticker Shock? Get a Discount on the Gown of Your Dreams...  

Make Healthy Eating and Exercise Part of Your Daily Routine  

Managing Psoriasis in the Winter Months  

Start Your Motorcycling Adventure the Right Way Learn Riding S...  

A Visionary Approach to Co-Species Healing Dr. Allen Schoen's K...  

Simple Steps for Taking Charge of Your Personal Health  

Christmas Plants Rooted in Centuries-old Histories and Tradition...  

Does Your Home Need Sunglasses or a Sweater?  

Holiday Gifts that Get Your Kids Off the Couch and into the Grea...  

Plan a Chinese New Year Party to Ring in the Year of the Monkey ...  

Sweeten Your Romance with Meade, the Irish Wine of Love  

Survey Shows Americans are Entertaining More than Ever Five cr...  

Attention Business Owners: Tax Law Changes May Affect You  

Don't Let a Fall Bring You Down Learn How You Can Help Prevent F...  

Eliminate Frustrating Internet Searches Contest Offers a Prize ...  

Scholarships for Everyone  

Planning Creative Holiday Parties By Lillian Vernon

 

 

 
Web LinkGrinder.com

Top Breaking News
     Georgia's Parliament Urges Breaking Diplomatic Ties With Russia by Peter Heinlein
     Darfur Rebels Claim to Shoot Down Spy Plane by VOA News
     Obama Prepares to Formally Accept Democratic Party Presidential Nomination by VOA News

Hooking Up vs Lasting Love: It's Your Choice


"hooking Up"
"friends with benefits"
"booty call"

These terms have become all too familiar in today's dating world.

By Toni Coleman Category: 0

Submit your Articles Here!


"hooking Up"
"friends with benefits"
"booty call"

These terms have become all too familiar in today's dating world. Are they words that you can relate to? Have you lived them in some way? If so, how have you felt about the experience(s) both during and after? Chances are that you have mixed feelings at best. Depending on your age and sex, you may give a somewhat different response to this question. Whatever your answer, a close look at this "dating experience" that impacts so many singles in so many ways may be useful to you as you think about what your long-term relationship goals are and what you REALLY want from a relationship.

So what exactly do these terms mean?
"Hooking up" is getting together for sex. There is generally no formal "date" involved.
"Friends with benefits" usually refers to two people who are "friends" who also have sex together. Again, there's a distinction between what they share and "dating".
"Booty call" usually describes the act of a man (woman) calling up another person to come over for sex. The sex doesn't follow dinner, a movie or other "quality" time together, getting to really know each other. It's physical.

Do you define this activity (even loosely) as dating? Has this become a new intimacy for some or many of you? If so, it's important to look at how/if it meets your needs and if it aligns with your basic values and relationship wants and goals.

Begin by asking yourself some core questions, such as:

Am I comfortable with intimacy?
Am I comfortable with a purely physical relationship?
Am I able to be physically involved with someone while remaining emotionally detached?
How do I feel about myself when I engage in this behavior?
Am I doing this to please someone or win his or her affection?
Is monogamy and marriage my goal?

If your answers reflect discordance between how you feel and what you do; it would be helpful to understand the reasons behind your behavior. Do any of these sound familiar?
"It's convenient"
"It's easy"
"It's safe"
"It requires no commitment on my part"

In addition to these explanations, some singles express a belief that "everyone does it" or "it's expected". Therefore, they often report engaging in it, but not feeling really ok or satisfied afterwards. Others use it as a substitute for real intimacy, referencing their difficulties in meeting and dating in general.

Then there are the people who have sex hoping it will lead to love. This too is a desire for intimacy that can lead to sadness and disappointment and the possibility of contacting a dangerous and life-altering infection. It reminds me of the line in a song, "if I can love you good enough on the outside to make you feel it on the inside, then maybe you will stay..."

If you recognize yourself in any of these statements and want to address your issue, begin with an inventory of your values and self-awareness.
Read the articles: "Defining Intimacy", "Clarifying And Living Your Values", and "How's Your Self-Awareness".
You can find these on: http://www.consum-mate.com/articles.htm

If you would find feedback that deals specifically with these issues helpful, take the "What's Your Intimacy IQ" and "Are You Relationship Ready" quizzes.
These can be found on: http://www.consum-mate.com/quiz.htm

Once you have determined what you really want from a relationship you can begin to make clear, thought out choices that will open the path that points in the direction you wish to go. Until you do so, you face the possibility of more disappointing and short-lived encounters that leave you feeling more alone and less hopeful about the possibility for lasting happy love.

About the Author

Toni Coleman is a relationship coach and psychotherapist who specializes in working with singles seeking lasting love. She offers individual, couples and group coaching by phone and/or email sessions. She has authored many articles and offers a free monthly newsletter.

Return to Last Page

Homepage
Articles
DVD's
Member Login
Add Your Link
Edit Your Link
Contact Us
Image Hosting
Advertising
Disclaimer

  Auctions - eBooks - Maps - Banner Links - Software - Weather - Music - Movies - TV
Add Your Site · Terms Of Service · Privacy Policy
 

DISCLAIMER

Follow The Bill is a free service that searches the Internet and indexes all files found so that you may search quickly and easily for shared files. These files are created and made available individually by users whose identity we are not aware of and who we have no control over. In essence we function like a search engine tool; these files ARE NOT STORED OR SERVED BY OUR NETWORK. We are not responsible for any materials obtained by using our service. We do not monitor any of the contents of these files. These files may contain viruses, illegal materials, materials inappropriate for minors, offensive files and the like. BY USING OUR SERVICE, YOU ASSUME FULL RESPONSIBILITY FOR DOWNLOADING THESE MATERIALS AND WILL INDEMNIFY US FOR ANY DAMAGES THAT MAY BE INCURRED.

For More Specific Information VIEW OUR TERMS OF SERVICE.

Thank you and Enjoy!