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Seven Tips in Planning a Fulfilling Holiday Experience

Copyright 2005 Willingness Works
Holidays can activate powerful emotional charges, calling
forth as much distress as joy.

By David Gruder Category: 0

Submit your Articles Here!

Holidays can activate powerful emotional charges, calling
forth as much distress as joy. These ?emotional charges?
may be connected with past memories or with wishes we have
in the present for ourselves, and those we love. This
article reveals practical strategies for creating a more
fulfilling and less stressful holiday experience, no matter
which holiday it happens to be: religious or cultural, or
personal celebrations such as birthdays and anniversaries
of all kinds.

Holidays with strong emotional charges fall into two
categories: family-focused & romantically-oriented.
Family-focused holidays include Christmas for Christians,
the High Holy Days and Passover for Jews, Thanksgiving in
the U.S. & Canada, and so forth. Romantically-oriented
holidays include New Years Eve, Valentines Day and other
holidays when we wish to have a partner by our side, such
as the office holiday party.

There are seven key dimensions to address in creating a
nourishing holiday experience for yourself and those with
whom you will be spending that holiday. They are:

1. CELEBRATIONS & PLAYFULNESS: Many holidays provide
opportunities for both children and adults to come out and
play. Consider what kinds of activities would add fun and
celebration to this holiday for you, and with whom. Some
long-standing traditions feel nourishing to continue and
sometimes you'll want to create new traditions. Examples of
playful celebration for holidays such as Christmas include
parties, drives to the country, playing in the snow,
caroling, tree decorating, attending concerts, etc.

2. SPIRITUAL EXPRESSION: Many holidays carry a deeper or
more sacred significance that we wish to honor in some way.
Which activities help you express your spiritual connection
to this holiday? Examples of spiritual expression include
meditating, prayer, attending services or rituals that are
part of your chosen religious or spiritual tradition,
volunteering in a soup kitchen or making other donations to
charity, reading stories about the origins of the holidays
you're celebrating, etc.

3. REMEMBERING: Holidays tend to be particularly uncanny in
their ability to invite old memories and recent losses to
our awareness. We may find ourselves remembering pleasant
and painful holidays from our past. We may have experienced
the death or loss of someone important to us over the past
year. Others who are precious to us may be unable to be
with us for this holiday. Because these issues come to the
surface during the holidays, devote some time to honoring
those people and memories. Set aside time, alone or with
others, to remember those who you wish could be with you
during this holiday and to grieve or honor those who have
died or left your life this past year.

4. COMPLETING & LOOKING FORWARD: Some holidays,
particularly those occurring toward the end of the year,
offer natural opportunities to review the past year and set
goals for the next. What goal-setting rituals feel
nourishing to you to do, alone or with others? Examples of
New Years rituals include doing a year-end review,
expressing gratitude you feel for what you've learned over
the past year, making amends with others, setting goals for
the coming year, and expressing wishes you have for others
and for the world in the coming year. Make plans for
creating this holiday in a happier and/or more fulfilling
way next year and forgiving yourself for what you didn't do
this year. Remember that changing holiday traditions takes
time - often years - to fine-tune!

5. GIVING & SPENDING: Many holidays are times of giving.
This means there is the danger of over-giving. Over-giving
includes spending too much money on gifts, too much energy
cooking and too much time with people you'd rather not be
with. Giving without regard to your own boundaries
inevitably leads to resentment and exhaustion. An
"Over-Giving Prevention Plan" can help: a commitment to
giving out of love rather than giving out of guilt. Find
your limits based on the life energy you have rather than
?shoulds? or expectations. Pay attention not only to total
amounts of time and money but also to the amount of time or
money you can lovingly devote to a particular task,
activity or person without becoming resentful. What can you
give and spend, and with whom, without resentment? How much
money can you spend on gifts (or how much time can you
spend making gifts) and sending holiday cards, and for
whom, without becoming resentful? Allow yourself to get
honest with yourself and live in alignment with your
boundaries and your integrity.

6. PERSONAL RE-CENTERING ACTIVITIES: Many holidays are
preceded by preparation, which means the danger of
neglecting the self-care activites that keep you centered
and energized. Being true to your personal boundaries can
help you maintain your self-care routines. This will help
make any holiday more joyous. Make specific self-care
commitments to yourself ahead of time. It's okay to take
?time-outs? from the family or the hustle and bustle. Going
on regular walks (alone or with others you feel
particularly nourished to be with), checking in with
growth-oriented friends, going to support group meetings,
journal writing and meditation, and eating and sleeping
well are all part of a wonderful self-care plan. Which
self-care/re-centering activities will work for you?

7. PLANNING FOR GLITCHES: Most of us can reasonably predict
where the hurts or fights will arise surrounding any given
holiday, the varieties of distress that happen each year,
and with which people these will occur. Make a list ahead
of time of the types of incidents you anticipate could
occur and the specific new actions you are willing to take
this year to take better care of yourself when or if these
circumstances arise.

I know from personal experience that these strategies
really do work to support joy and love during any holiday.
I wish you a nourishing holiday experience!

----------------------------------------------------
Dr. David Gruder is a California licensed psychologist &
Director of Willingness Works. An award-winning
self-improvement author, he also has over 70 audios, &
provides keynotes & workshops internationally for the
public, health pros & business. For more about how to have
a happier holiday experience, go to
http://www.willingness.com and click on "Solutions."

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Seven Tips in Planning a Fulfilling Holiday Experience

Copyright 2005 Willingness WorksHolidays can activate powerful emotional charges, callingforth as much distress as joy.

Copyright 2005 Willingness Works
Holidays can activate powerful emotional charges, calling
forth as much distress as joy.